Monday I drug my hung over and sleep deprived ass out of bed, got showered and went to find out if I still had a job. I completely forgot it was a holiday. I borrowed Lucy’s car, drove all the way there to find the place packed full of customers. Adam, the boss, had no time to officially fire me, but he made it known that I needed to get out. That’s alright, I hate retail work anyway. I’m a bit too honest about the products I’m selling.

When I got back to the car Isabelle was waiting for me. She looked really striking in the daylight. Her skin was pale but full of life, and if she happened to move, she looked almost like a real person. Freaky still with her lack of animation when not engaged in movement.

“It is good that we can start to not pretend.” she said, with a forced smile as she stood stiff as a board next to the car.

“sure thing boss.”

“the website, it does not have the… reach that we want. You need to promote it on your social networks.”

“you came out in the day to tell me to get a twitter account?”

“Yes, and the facebook. Also you need to be more of a journalist, and less of a daily web blogger. Lucy is there to talk to you and you spend time watching television about a vampire slayer. I expected better.”

“well I expected not to be locked in my house!” I said with a slightly raised voice as I turned to unlock the car. When I turned back she was gone. Typical vampire shit.

On the drive back I decided I’d do it. As soon as Lucy woke up I’d sit her down and interview her, real proper like. Finally answer some questions about her and her kind. Isabelle pretty much was calling me lazy and she was right.

That is when I noticed the cop car following me. Seriously. I made random turns to make sure. They were always back there. I started to worry a bit more, specially when I pulled up to my loft and realized it was not the one outside my house, but another one. The one outside was still there, and the man watched me pull into my parking garage.

Fucking creepy.

Instead of going back to bed like I should of I decided to get drunk. I’ve always been that way. When times get stressful, I drink. It never really impacts my life since I do it in my ‘free time’. Problem with getting drunk as a means of relaxation in times of stress is that in times of stress you can’t predict what the hell will happen.

Which is why I didn’t predict that Julian would come knocking on my door. Very quiet knocks for sure, so I have no clue how long he was rapping before I heard it and wobbled over. I flung open the door thinking I’d get a chance to yell out some brilliant church person who figured out how to get int he building, but instead I got a face full of Julian. He didn’t really look like Julian Sands but enough to make me think about it. Enough to make me think of that Tale of a Vampire movie. As my name is Alex I had to use the actors name, sue me.

I blink and say “Why do all you vamps remind me of vampire movies. Maybe I’m the crazy one.” It didn’t even occur to me how I knew he was a vampire. Still don’t know. It just seemed to make sense.

Then he locked me with those ‘do what I say’ eyes that all these assholes get when talking to me and said, “Unlock the window and jump out of it”. That is when it hit me. That look they get, they are all trying to mind rape me. To do the vampire magic on me. In my drunk state I stood there mulling this new revelation over not saying a word. The poor vampire seemed confused. So he tried again.

“I want you to go jump out the window.” Which of course made this whole situation more humorous. So I did what any sane person would do, I started to laugh. I think somewhere in my laughter I invited him in for some wine. I mean it was so bad I had to hold the wall to not fall over. Drunk, laughing, it was kind of a crazy moment. I should of been aware of the danger I was in, but I wasn’t.

I didn’t even see Julian move before he had me pinned to the floor, fangs all out about to bite me. I just kept laughing. It was like some bad replay of Jesus and I’s last encounter but this time I knew why he was always so pissed, and probably why Isabelle put me up for this job.

Lucky for me Julian didn’t notice Lucy with the chef’s knife until it was sticking out of his neck. For the second time in just a few short minutes he looked shocked. At first there was a spray a blood that landed all so nicely on my carpet and my face, but it stopped before he even got out the door.

I was still laughing. Lucy was standing over me like a guard dog and somehow I managed to say, “I hope he returns the knife!”

Then Lucy started laughing also.